It really bothers me that when people are having what would seem to be a mild debate about an issue, people can get so unbalanced.
We tend to swing from one side of the pendulum to the other. We're so against one idea that instead of finding a medium point to stand at, we swing completely the other direction. Going from one extreme to the other.
And when someone disagrees with us, we lash out with unkind words. I say we, because I'm quite sure I've hurt feelings before, whether intentionally or not. I know I'm not always level headed and rash when I am discussing topics that I feel strongly about.
But it is truly frustrating on days like today, when I felt I was being sincere and polite, to be attacked, simply because I have a different opinion. It is especially frustrating when it comes from people wanting to be so 'progressive' and 'tolerant'. How is it tolerance when you attack me for believing something different?
Today, because I don't support uncovered nursing in public (as a rule)- my marriage was attacked, my morals were attacked, and I was told I have a 'tainted mind'.
It hurts, because even if you think you are spreading truth and freedom, it is coming in such an unattractive package. I would not want to embrace anything offered in such a way.
Now it is my job not to be affected by this by swinging even more to the extreme side of the pendulum.
My thoughts on NIP: cover up out of courtesy when possible. Not because breastfeeding is bad or sexual and should be hidden. Whether or not YOU personally have a problem with seeing women's breasts, it is an issue in our culture. Just because you want something to be different, doesn't make it so. Even if every nursing mother started to NIP without a cover, culture would not change that quickly.
In my opinion, it doesn't hurt your baby to nurse under a cover. If your baby has a hard time doing that because of other issues, you're probably not going to be out in public anyway. If you're a new mom learning to breastfeed, probably a similar issue. I practiced at home A LOT, before I ever felt comfortable nursing in public, and it had nothing to do with being covered or not.
Am I saying I think you're a terrible person if you ever expose your breast? No. Babies pull blankets down, wind blows... things happen. But I think it really can just be considered common courtesy to cover up.
To say you don't want to cover up just for someone else's convenience is like saying anything is acceptable if your own morals are satisfied. If I want to banish breasts being viewed as sexual attributes and don't have a moral issue with it, should I be allowed to go anywhere without top? What if I did that around your 10yr old son?
Again, this is all just my opinion. Yes, I think it has moral grounds (Mark 12:31, 1 Cor 8:9), but I don't condemn anyone who believes differently. This really isn't a battleground to die on and I won't treat it as such.
*In reference to the 1 Cor verse, yes, the context is eating food sacrificed to idols, but I think the principle is godly none-the-less*
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Safe Place
What do you do when your 'safe place', is so far away?
Athan is my safe place, my safe person. I can tell him anything and know he will listen and not condemn. He will not judge. If needed, he'll speak truth to me. But he gives me time to process out loud first, something I desperately need.
But while he's gone, the most I can do is send him an email. And hope he has a chance to read it before too many days go by. And then has time to call me.
It's so hard, when I feel so much like I need someone to talk to. I don't feel like I can share these issues with friends, even close friends, because it involves other people and I don't want to slander or gossip.
Praying Athan can call me tonight... I desperately need it. I'm ready to hightail it back to SC right now. But I know that would be hard too.
Athan is my safe place, my safe person. I can tell him anything and know he will listen and not condemn. He will not judge. If needed, he'll speak truth to me. But he gives me time to process out loud first, something I desperately need.
But while he's gone, the most I can do is send him an email. And hope he has a chance to read it before too many days go by. And then has time to call me.
It's so hard, when I feel so much like I need someone to talk to. I don't feel like I can share these issues with friends, even close friends, because it involves other people and I don't want to slander or gossip.
Praying Athan can call me tonight... I desperately need it. I'm ready to hightail it back to SC right now. But I know that would be hard too.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Feeling Sad and Down
I don't feel like going on Facebook and trying to sound like I'm OK tonight.
Tonight, I'm not OK. I'm incredibly sad that my husband is not with me. I'm frustrated to be living in someone else's house and not my own. I don't even HAVE one to go to. I'm tired of having to explain to my children that their Daddy is not coming home tomorrow. For a lot of tomorrows.
I know I should be trusting God and saying things like 'I'm so thankful I'm with family and not on my own. I'm so glad my kids have such a great Daddy that they miss him.'
I am trying to trust God. But I'm failing at it right now. And I don't want to put on the facade that everything is fine and I'm this amazing, strong, brave woman. I'm not and I'm tired of people telling me I am. Do you know how hard it is to live up to that expectation?
I really just want to cry. I want to be sad and know it's OK, because God didn't make me a robot but a human being with emotions. And not feel guilty for being so sad.
I also would really like some chocolate. But I don't have that either.
Tonight, I'm not OK. I'm incredibly sad that my husband is not with me. I'm frustrated to be living in someone else's house and not my own. I don't even HAVE one to go to. I'm tired of having to explain to my children that their Daddy is not coming home tomorrow. For a lot of tomorrows.
I know I should be trusting God and saying things like 'I'm so thankful I'm with family and not on my own. I'm so glad my kids have such a great Daddy that they miss him.'
I am trying to trust God. But I'm failing at it right now. And I don't want to put on the facade that everything is fine and I'm this amazing, strong, brave woman. I'm not and I'm tired of people telling me I am. Do you know how hard it is to live up to that expectation?
I really just want to cry. I want to be sad and know it's OK, because God didn't make me a robot but a human being with emotions. And not feel guilty for being so sad.
I also would really like some chocolate. But I don't have that either.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Me and my big mouth
Why oh why do I read other people's blogs and feel the need to get online and post something completely to the contrary? It's not people that I don't know, don't talk to that I feel the need to 'enlighten'... it's people I know and often like. I read something where someone has watched some documentary or done some research and now they feel something is SO wrong. 'I'm boycotting this company or think that this drug is SO bad or this way of doing something is SO harmful.' And they try to come across as sounding 'non-judgmental': "I mean, if you don't have a personal problem with it, then I can't stop you or convince you it's wrong. But you know, with all the stuff I've read and seen, this is just the conclusion I've come to."
...
And you just know what they're really thinking is: "Maybe if you cared about *insert favorite cause here* then you would take the time to read news articles and watch documentaries."
...
that are written by people. that are just about always biased no matter how neutral they try to be. And often just obviously aren't.
And the first thought into my head (after thinking about how I totally disagree) is: "hey, I should write on MY blog just to show the error of their ways"
...
haha, me and my big mouth.
...
or maybe it's: me and my big ego?
Who do I think I am anyway? ;)
...
And you just know what they're really thinking is: "Maybe if you cared about *insert favorite cause here* then you would take the time to read news articles and watch documentaries."
...
that are written by people. that are just about always biased no matter how neutral they try to be. And often just obviously aren't.
And the first thought into my head (after thinking about how I totally disagree) is: "hey, I should write on MY blog just to show the error of their ways"
...
haha, me and my big mouth.
...
or maybe it's: me and my big ego?
Who do I think I am anyway? ;)
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Deployment Daze
It's been awhile. Oh well, I'm back. I also have been feeling the 'need' to blog lately, because of Athan being gone. I'm an external processor and just need to put things outside of myself to think through them. So here I am again.
While on vacation in MI we found out Athan's deployment had been changed and moved up. We rushed home to SC, packed our house in a week and came to KY. Had a day here with him, getting settled in at his folk's house and then took him to the Nashville airport on August 14. He left for training the next day. And now he is in Afghanistan.
It's a 6 month deployment. We're maybe 10 days in? Not really fun to think of it that way.
While he's gone I have set some goals for myself: lose weight, finish baby scrapbooks, learn to sew, get a nose ring. Maybe some other stuff will get thrown in there.
As of right now I have been faithfully going to the gym 4-5 times a week. I think I'm averaging walking/jogging 12-15 miles a week. And doing weights for abs, arms and legs each time I'm there. My reward: an uninterrupted, hot shower in the ladies locker room! My kids love the 'play park' where they are carefully supervised so it's 2 hrs of 'me' time every day... very much needed.
No sewing lessons yet, but there is plenty of time. Right now we're still establishing a regular schedule.
Seth is in preschool at Heritage, he loves it! He goes 3 mornings a week and I am thrilled for him. He tends to be one of those children that learns best from someone other than his parents (Athan thinks so just as much as I do).
In reading other folks blogs, it's funny to me how different perspectives can be. Natural childbirth, Rx drug-free living, homeschooling... all *seem* good and right and *Christian*. I feel lots of guilt when I start comparing my choices/circumstances to those of others.
For instance: I was induced with all three of my babies. My blood pressure gets high enough that I get put on bed-rest in the third trimester and high enough that it is unsafe to wait for labor to start on it's own. Due to long, pitocin induced labors I've had epidurals. *insert guilt feelings for not being able to 'go natural' and 'do it on my own'*
For instance: I was home schooled and admire those who do. But I have absolutely NO desire to home school my children. At all. *insert guilt feelings for not wanting to 'mother' correctly*
For instance: I have some extreme post-partum depression and take a Rx for it. No I don't want to harm my children, haven't had those feelings; however, you could pretty much check off every single physical symptom for ppd and apply it to me, as well as feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness... *insert guilt feelings for 'needing' a drug to help me cope*
But I'm starting to think something new for me- and maybe you've already reached this pinnacle: who cares if other women/moms do it differently? who cares if I don't live up to the 'standard' that so many unknowingly set? The only thing I am called to as a wife and mother is to glorify God. As long as I am obedient to Him, then so what if it looks different for me than for you?
As a chronic 'people-pleaser', non-confrontational, abused-child, this is a big deal for me.
On a completely different note, I'm compiling a list of 'Things Not to Say to Someone Whose Spouse is Deployed'. Stay tuned for that later. ;)
While on vacation in MI we found out Athan's deployment had been changed and moved up. We rushed home to SC, packed our house in a week and came to KY. Had a day here with him, getting settled in at his folk's house and then took him to the Nashville airport on August 14. He left for training the next day. And now he is in Afghanistan.
It's a 6 month deployment. We're maybe 10 days in? Not really fun to think of it that way.
While he's gone I have set some goals for myself: lose weight, finish baby scrapbooks, learn to sew, get a nose ring. Maybe some other stuff will get thrown in there.
As of right now I have been faithfully going to the gym 4-5 times a week. I think I'm averaging walking/jogging 12-15 miles a week. And doing weights for abs, arms and legs each time I'm there. My reward: an uninterrupted, hot shower in the ladies locker room! My kids love the 'play park' where they are carefully supervised so it's 2 hrs of 'me' time every day... very much needed.
No sewing lessons yet, but there is plenty of time. Right now we're still establishing a regular schedule.
Seth is in preschool at Heritage, he loves it! He goes 3 mornings a week and I am thrilled for him. He tends to be one of those children that learns best from someone other than his parents (Athan thinks so just as much as I do).
In reading other folks blogs, it's funny to me how different perspectives can be. Natural childbirth, Rx drug-free living, homeschooling... all *seem* good and right and *Christian*. I feel lots of guilt when I start comparing my choices/circumstances to those of others.
For instance: I was induced with all three of my babies. My blood pressure gets high enough that I get put on bed-rest in the third trimester and high enough that it is unsafe to wait for labor to start on it's own. Due to long, pitocin induced labors I've had epidurals. *insert guilt feelings for not being able to 'go natural' and 'do it on my own'*
For instance: I was home schooled and admire those who do. But I have absolutely NO desire to home school my children. At all. *insert guilt feelings for not wanting to 'mother' correctly*
For instance: I have some extreme post-partum depression and take a Rx for it. No I don't want to harm my children, haven't had those feelings; however, you could pretty much check off every single physical symptom for ppd and apply it to me, as well as feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness... *insert guilt feelings for 'needing' a drug to help me cope*
But I'm starting to think something new for me- and maybe you've already reached this pinnacle: who cares if other women/moms do it differently? who cares if I don't live up to the 'standard' that so many unknowingly set? The only thing I am called to as a wife and mother is to glorify God. As long as I am obedient to Him, then so what if it looks different for me than for you?
As a chronic 'people-pleaser', non-confrontational, abused-child, this is a big deal for me.
On a completely different note, I'm compiling a list of 'Things Not to Say to Someone Whose Spouse is Deployed'. Stay tuned for that later. ;)
Monday, June 21, 2010
Better late than never
I just can't seem to get back into the habit of blogging regularly. I really need to, we've had so many things happen and I'm going to forget it all if I don't write it down.
First things first- we moved to SC! Athan is now stationed at Shaw AFB in the CE squadron. We got here at the end of January and have loved being here so far! Athan isn't crazy about the job he has right now, but it's temporary. We found out in March that he deploys to Iraq in October.
In February we traveled to Sarasota, FL to see Karissa and her family... we especially wanted to see new baby Talitha. She was sweet and precious. We enjoyed spending time with Clara as well... the cousins enjoyed getting to know one another better. For one week in February we had Grandma Hufstetler visiting with us. A precious time of getting to know her better, the kids really enjoyed it.
In March our own sweet baby came. I was due April 1 but due to my blood pressure climbing again, I was induced at 39 weeks. Eden Joy was born on March 26 at 4:18am. She was 8lbs 6oz and 20 1/4 in long with a full head of black curls! She is beautiful and sweet, we all love her so much. She continues to be a delight to us, with a very happy little personality.
In April we had visits with Athan's parents, as well as my mom and sister. Everyone was happy to meet the newest little Waldron. It made for a busy but fun month.
May continued our busy-ness as we continued to adjust to life with 3 children. We made the decision to move to KY while Athan is deployed in the fall. Taking care of 3 children under the age of 5 by myself wasn't particularly appealing. I'm looking forward to being 'back home' for a few months. We also celebrated our 5th anniversary! Amazed to think we've been married that long, funny to think we have 3 kids already!
June started with Seth turning 4- can't believe my boy is so big! He is a real joy to us. Smart boy full of imagination! Athan's parents came for his birthday party and Charlie had her first gymnastics expo. She is very athletic and seems to have a talent for it! We helped with VBS for our church here in Sumter last week. It was a long week but very enjoyable. We're thankful for the friendships we're forming and the time w have here.
Next month we're headed to MI for the first time in nearly 4 years! So excited to see all our friends and family up there. So many new little ones to meet and enjoy. After that trip we'll need to focus on packing up all our things because Athan will move me and the kids to his parent on Labor Day weekend. It'll be here before we know it and I want to enjoy our time together before Athan is gone!
First things first- we moved to SC! Athan is now stationed at Shaw AFB in the CE squadron. We got here at the end of January and have loved being here so far! Athan isn't crazy about the job he has right now, but it's temporary. We found out in March that he deploys to Iraq in October.
In February we traveled to Sarasota, FL to see Karissa and her family... we especially wanted to see new baby Talitha. She was sweet and precious. We enjoyed spending time with Clara as well... the cousins enjoyed getting to know one another better. For one week in February we had Grandma Hufstetler visiting with us. A precious time of getting to know her better, the kids really enjoyed it.
In March our own sweet baby came. I was due April 1 but due to my blood pressure climbing again, I was induced at 39 weeks. Eden Joy was born on March 26 at 4:18am. She was 8lbs 6oz and 20 1/4 in long with a full head of black curls! She is beautiful and sweet, we all love her so much. She continues to be a delight to us, with a very happy little personality.
In April we had visits with Athan's parents, as well as my mom and sister. Everyone was happy to meet the newest little Waldron. It made for a busy but fun month.
May continued our busy-ness as we continued to adjust to life with 3 children. We made the decision to move to KY while Athan is deployed in the fall. Taking care of 3 children under the age of 5 by myself wasn't particularly appealing. I'm looking forward to being 'back home' for a few months. We also celebrated our 5th anniversary! Amazed to think we've been married that long, funny to think we have 3 kids already!
June started with Seth turning 4- can't believe my boy is so big! He is a real joy to us. Smart boy full of imagination! Athan's parents came for his birthday party and Charlie had her first gymnastics expo. She is very athletic and seems to have a talent for it! We helped with VBS for our church here in Sumter last week. It was a long week but very enjoyable. We're thankful for the friendships we're forming and the time w have here.
Next month we're headed to MI for the first time in nearly 4 years! So excited to see all our friends and family up there. So many new little ones to meet and enjoy. After that trip we'll need to focus on packing up all our things because Athan will move me and the kids to his parent on Labor Day weekend. It'll be here before we know it and I want to enjoy our time together before Athan is gone!
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